This post is dedicated to the Caregiver – life would be cruel without you.
In another post, I began my journey of writing about the most difficult experience I have gone through in my life. The crisis was two years long and we, as a family, waited over ten years for my wife to be finally pronounced as “healed” by the numerous medical doctors involved.
I wanted to write openly about how I felt as a long-term caregiver to my spouse, as she lay there dying in the hospital. The stress that my three girls and myself went through was unbearable and almost unspeakable, I could only but imagine what my beautiful wife was going through.
After discussing some of the details of my intended post with my beloved sidekick, I agreed with her that I would respect her privacy and “leave things in the past where they lay“. That alone was a difficult agreement for me to make. But, because I love her deeply, I will respect her wishes.
I can say this though, sometimes the trials and tribulations that we go through, especially if they are chronic and long term in nature, can take a big chunk out of our hearts and lives. We are never the same afterwards. Granted, one discovers who their true friends and family members really are. We become intimately acquainted with suffering and learn the important elements of patience, persistence, long-suffering, hope, faith, and so forth. We draw close to God, and He draws close to us in a very real and tangible way.
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. James 4:8a NLT
Yet, our heart still cries out in agonizing pain over the tragedy we are experiencing. We need someone to pour our heart out to, but nobody is really listening or even appears to care. We need “God with skin on“. A healing balm of tender human companionship and a listening ear. Tears continue to well up as I write this…
As a male in North American society, it is often implicitly expected, at least culturally, that we be strong and silent when we face the aforementioned. Taking care of business, trying to be emotionally detached or compartmentalized until the necessary job is finished. When the crisis extends over a multiple year period, we simply get worn out.
A part of us is gone now, perhaps never to return.
It is with this in mind that I want to extend my friendship and a listening ear to all those who have literally carried the weight of being a caregiver over the long-term. I deeply respect your commitment and your heart felt love to care for someone you cherish.
If I can be of any help to you, through my many life experiences, both good and not-so-good, please feel free to contact me. You are an intelligent person – you will figure out how to do that.
God bless, and thank you for your understanding 🙂